A note on disappointment

A note on disappointment

I knew today was going to be a tough day, but I wasn’t sure why. It started off with me making the perfect the perfect cup of coffee and then promptly falling down the basement stairs (right was I was thinking how I needed to do a protection spell). If you’re knew to my world, me falling is pretty normal thanks to my condition Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. So I’m a pretty great fall-er but the stairs and wall are covered in what was supposed to be my delicious morning brew.

I learned long ago to not let one spilled cup of coffee determine my whole day, so I set to casting the spell and moving about my day.

Late in the afternoon, I got some news I’d been waiting on for months. And to say it was a disappointment would be an understatement. I’d been manifesting this, it felt like a life long dream coming true, like a once in a lifetime opportunity, and then poof it all went up in smoke when I had been so damn close.

The dark, twisty, side of me wants to just sit in the ugly of how much this sucks but I can’t. There are too many things that require me to keep moving. To keep going forward. And although I am a big proponent of feeling your feelings, I had felt the shift when this situation had changed. When this opportunity was no longer mine. So in some ways, I’ve already processed those feelings. Sure, it’s still disappointing as hell but you really have two choices in those moments: 1) figure out your next steps 2) wallow in the disappointment till someone pulls you out of it or you muster the strength to do it yourself. I’m not judging either choice, but sometimes you have to take step one. And that’s where I’m at.

So if you have to take step one as well, here are some tips for dealing with that disappointment and figuring out what’s next.

  1. Reach out to a friend or mentor

    Sometimes it can be hard to even share about disappointment. That’s why it’s important who you choose to reach out to. For me, I reached out to a mentor first. I knew she would be able to feel into my energy, knew how much this meant to be, but could also see the bigger picture. Reaching out to someone helps to not bottle up all the feelings you are experiencing and they can help guide you on dealing with the situation. Plus it helps you not feel so alone.

  2. Pull some tarot and oracle cards

    This one is always a go to for me when I’m feeling stuck, disappointed, or lacking direction. I like to ask the universe “what now"?” or “what next?” and pull cards until I intuitively know it’s enough. The cards always reveal things that you can’t see and will help guide you thoughts and next steps. Bonus, many of them even have journal prompts or questions to ponder that will help you think through your next steps.

  3. Journal out your feelings

    I’m a huge believer in getting your feelings out on paper. You’ll find numerous documents and books of poetry in my home. Journals filled with hard to read thoughts and scraps of paper burned to a crisp. There is something cathartic about actually getting your thoughts out on a document and out of your system. So, grab a pen or your keyboard, and let it out! You’ll feel so much better to share your disappointment, all that you’re feeling, and anything else that comes to mind while you write. Write freely and you’ll find so much relief. Who knows, you might even get some clarity along the way!

  4. Cleanse your energy

    I’m a big proponent of removing negative energy from your space. This is so important when you’re ready to shift your mood from sadness, disappointment, or after being in a funk. You cleanse your space with smoke, sage (but be mindful to not buy any that’s reserved for rituals by other cultures), tidying, candles, reiki, or magic. No matter what method you choose, your space will feel so much better after you do so!

  5. Move your body

    Looooooook, bestie. This is one I have a hard time with. When it’s a beautiful, crisp day. Sure. I’ll get outside and go on a walk. But you won’t catch me outside if I’m sweating on our walk. Find a way to move your body that’s fun! Even if it’s just shaking it out to your favorite song (or you’re pissed off playlist…please tell me I’m not the only one with one of those) or doing some EFT tapping. This helps move the energy around in your body and get all of the negative emotions out.

  6. When you’re ready ask yourself questions to help guide your next steps

    Once you feel like you’ve accepted the disappointment, it might be time to figure out what’s next. Maybe you’re trying to figure out a new direction. Depending on what caused your disappointment, here are some questions that might be helpful.

  • Why did this situation mean so much to me?

  • Now that this situation hasn’t turned out how I hoped, would I like to try again? Or has it revealed that maybe this isn’t a good fit?

  • How does this change impact my goals? My future plans?

  • What can I celebrate about not having this situation work out?

  • Did this situation make someone else’s dream come true? Can I be happy for them?

  • What has this situation taught me about myself?

  • What has this situation taught me about those involved?

What tips do you have when it comes to dealing with disappointment?

Love + magic,


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